Grave Digging: Burying the Dog Fence

First let me say that I realize that most graves are dug by back hoes and not people with shovels. I know this and it’s beside the point. I’m thinking of people who are digging graves for nefarious purposes. Not cemetery employees.


But let me start at the beginning - I have three dogs who I keep from pestering my neighbors by enclosing several acres, close to eight I think, with an electric radio dog fence. The dog fence allows me to have good relationships with my neighbors. Without the fence I would be continually apologizing and paying for the damage my dogs would do. How do I know my dogs would do damage? Because they are dogs. And because they dig holes big enough to lose UPS trucks in at my house. Craters. They dig craters.

I also let one of my neighbor’s run his horses on our pasture. I know. It’s very kind of me. It’s also an easy way to keep the grass from taking over. The horses keep the pastures from looking like my garden. Really. Recently, another neighbor, we’ll call him Good Neighbor, offered a piece of land that adjoins ours to the Horse Neighbor. Horse Neighbor moved his physical fence which exposed my dog fence.

That is why, had you driven past my house early this morning, you would have seen me out in the field burying a new wire. Why do I have to bury the wire? Because now that the Good Neighbor has offered the adjoining field for Horse Neighbor to use there is no horse fence separating the two fields. The horse fence used to protect the dog fence from destruction. Think draft horse feet with lovely metal shoes. A ton of weight (yes, literally) with a sharp metal edge coming down on a tiny wire. The only way for me to keep the fence intact (and thus contain my dogs) is to bury it. Don’t you wish you could have the kind of fun I have?

This is what I discovered while digging the shallow trench to lay the wire in. Digging is not easy. It’s hard on your body, specifically the right elbow and the left leg. And face it I was just digging up the first six inches of dirt. What if I’d been trying to conceal a body? How hard would that have been?

This is what I was thinking about this as I was jumping up and down on my shovel, trying to get the blade to cut through long grass and the roots of some sort of bush. I was thinking that if I was going to ever write a mystery where someone tries to bury a body I’d better to it right. Either said villain had better have a really tough time digging this hole or they’d better borrow a back hoe. Either one would be telling. It’s hard to hide freshly dug dirt.

So what do you think? Given that digging is such hard work how would you go about hiding a body? Or would you be like my villians and just let it lie?

Skunk 4, Kate 0 - The Skunk is Winning

Yes, you read that right. The skunk is smarter than I am. This will be the fourth day in a row that I will have to wash the skunk smell out of my dogs. The dogs are even dumber than I am.

The first time the dogs warned us - but it was too late, the skunk got them anyway. And then it came up onto our porch and taunted the dogs, trying to pull the bed out from under Annie and out between the bars of her crate. It didn't succeed. So, in revenge, it sprayed poor Midnight through the door of her kennel. It came back four times, regardless of the bright lights, barking dogs and door banging humans. A neighbor came and tried to kill the skunk with a 22. No luck. Skunk 1, Human 0.

The next day I cleaned up the dogs, the porch and the dog crates. Such fun. I left to pick up children and take them to ball practice, and when I got home (in daylight) Moose was in the brier patch next to our garage with the skunk in his mouth. That didn't last long. The dogs chased the skunk into the woods and the neighbor appeared again, but couldn't catch up with the skunk who rushed across the road and up a steep wooded slope. Skunk 2, Human 0.

Now before people start writing me about cruelty to animals let me say I'm usually against killing creatures just because they are inconvenient. I'm inconvenient myself sometimes. But this skunk was acting a tad strangely and Rabies did occur to us. A rabid animal will die anyway and is a danger to us all.

However, as our friend wasn't having any luck killing the skunk we put out a trap. The dogs smell like skunk again, but he's nowhere to be found. Certainly not in the trap. Skunk 3, human 0.

I was hoping like anything that when I got home today I wouldn't have to wash the dogs, AGAIN! Ha! Got home, no skunk in trap Dogs smell to high heaven.

We caught the neighbors grey cat in the have-a-heart trap.

The skunk wins.